I Published My First Book, and I Almost Talked Myself Out of It.

Why I finally stopped waiting for everything to be perfect and decided to hit publish anyway.

I have a habit of talking myself out of things before I ever give them a chance to work.

I’ll research something, make a plan, question the plan, change the plan, research it some more, and then somehow convince myself that maybe I should wait until everything is perfect. Publishing a book was almost one of those things.

But this time, I hit publish anyway.

I Never Really Planned on Calling Myself an Author

Writing has always been how I process things. Long before it became a habit, I was scribbling in notebooks, drafting emails I never sent, and journaling through decisions I didn’t know how to make out loud. But actually publishing, putting my name on something and making it available for complete strangers to read, felt different.

There is something about seeing your name on something and making it available for complete strangers to read that makes you suddenly notice every little thing.

Is it good enough? Did I explain it well enough? Should I add another chapter? What if nobody buys it? What if people do buy it and don’t like it?

I could have kept editing forever. Eventually, I had to remind myself why I wrote the book in the first place. It wasn’t about being able to say I published a book. It was because I remembered what it felt like to be navigating life as a military spouse and not knowing how much I didn’t know.

Military Life Doesn’t Exactly Come With Instructions

I grew up in a military family, so I wasn’t completely unfamiliar with military life. Both of my parents served in the Navy. But becoming a military spouse was different.

Suddenly I wasn’t the child following my parents through military life. I was the adult trying to understand benefits, paperwork, moves, deployments, military culture, finances, raising children in this lifestyle, and all of the other things that somehow become part of your everyday life when you raise your hand and say yes to this chapter.

There are resources out there, of course. But sometimes you don’t even know what you need to search for until you’re already dealing with it. That’s what made me think about the guide I wish someone had handed me at the beginning. And that idea eventually became The New Military Spouse Handbook: Navigating Life, Love, and the Uniform.

Writing it became a way to process the years of navigating military life, the confusion, the learning curves, the small wins, and the moments I wished someone had just told me what I was walking into. Putting all of that into a book felt meaningful. It also felt terrifying.

Then came the hard part: actually hitting publish. Writing it was one thing. Actually publishing it was another. I kept finding reasons to wait. Maybe I should change something. Maybe I should add something. Maybe I should work on the cover again. Maybe I should wait until I had a larger audience. At some point, I realized there would probably always be another “maybe.” So I published it. And I’m glad I did.

Not because I suddenly had everything figured out, but because I finally allowed something I created to exist outside of my computer. That was a bigger deal for me than I expected.

And Somehow, I’m Already Working on Book Two

I’ve now published two books. My second book, Life After the Military, focuses on another part of military life that deserves more attention: what happens when military life ends?

Separating or retiring affects more than the service member’s career. The entire family has to think about healthcare, finances, identity, employment, VA benefits, education, children, community, and what everyday life looks like when the military is no longer structuring so much of it. In many ways, military families spend years learning how to live within the military system and then are expected to figure out how to leave it. Life After the Military is my way of creating something practical for that transition.

Both books exist in the world now, and I still can’t quite believe it. Maybe one of the lessons is this: I didn’t have to have everything figured out before I started. I could begin with what I knew, create something I believed could help someone, put it into the world, learn from the experience, and improve as I went. Maybe the next chapter for readers starts with simply being willing to pivot.

I’m realizing that not everything has to begin with a perfect plan. Sometimes you can start with what you know, create something you believe could help someone, put it into the world, learn from the experience, and improve as you go. Sometimes the next chapter starts with simply being willing to pivot.